My wife says she loves me but is not in love. What exactly are you supposed to make of a statement like that when it comes from your spouse? Obviously she still has feelings for you, right? But if she's fallen out of love with you does that mean the marriage is ultimately doomed? You're right to feel confused when your wife tells you this. How you react to it though is what will determine the future of your marriage.
If your wife tells you that she's fallen out of love with you but still cares for you it essentially means that, for her, the spark is gone. That undeniable feeling of being in love isn't there anymore for her. That's not to say that you can't rekindle it though. You absolutely can and if you love her, it's something you need to start working on immediately.
Many women feel an emotional disconnect from their spouse when the marriage shifts from the honeymoon phase into the real life phase. If you once brought her flowers and charmed her by singing her silly little love songs, she likely misses that. It's normal and expected for a couple to lose the spark of romance once they settle into the trenches of paying a mortgage, working on furthering their careers and tending to the needs of their ever growing family. Shifting that back to a place where you two connected on a romantic level isn't that hard.
Bring your wife flowers, today. Yes, that seems like a small gesture when she's recently told you that she's no longer in love with you, but it's an important first step.
When intimacy disappears from a relationship the couple can very quickly start seeing each other as friends as opposed to lovers. If you and your wife have allowed the intimacy in your marriage to slip away, you have to be proactive about changing that. Draw a bubble bath and light some candles. Wash her hair for her and then spend some time showing her how much you still desire her.
Your wife obviously may not be receptive to all these things, but if that's the case, take it slowly. Begin by being more attentive to her needs and slowly work your way up to being closer physically. Just always remember that in a marriage it's a very fine line between loving someone and being in love with them. You can pull her closer to you again. It's very possible.